As you may know from my first blog (if you haven't read it be very shamed, lol) I am an extremely busy woman. I am a full time student this semester, work full time and though I am not complaining, it has really had an altering effect on me as a person and especially as a woman.
So on my day off from it all, I began by waking up in the arms of a very special someone. I decided all that week leading up to that day that I wasn't going to do anything. No homework, no errands. Just sleep, eat and watch tv, but something made me be productive instead. About 10 am I got a phone call from an old friend and speaking with them was that jolt that said get busy! About two hours later I had cooked two meals, cleaned up my place, showered and was dare I say it...ran a comb through my head!
For those of you who know me, you know I am Mrs. Domesticated. The same girl who once aspired to be a wife and stay at home mother. With the changing of the times along with expectations of my own and of the modern household, I have experienced first hand that women are expected to be much more than ever before but still uphold certain traditional gender roles. I was raised that if you treat a man like a man, you will get everything you need and more from him in return. I deeply value educating yourself and applying your skills and worth to set yourself up for the lifestyle you want for you and your family, but I also believe that there should be an equal balance between what you want and what is expected. It may sound prehistoric but a woman, no matter what employment field she is in, has a role and should play her part well.
As much as I felt I had deserved to lay in bed all day dressed in the most comfy sweats and tank I could find, somehow my womanly instinct kicked in and made me play my position in the household. Having a man around will make you do that sometimes ladies. No one who has been at work all day wants to come home to their mate who hasn't changed from what they woke up in, cleaned, cooked or ran a comb through their hair, much less a man! Treat him like a man and he will give you everything you want and more. I say know your role and play your position ladies. Who said we can't do it all? Men weren't designed nor designated to bear and raise children. Therefore, being a busy career woman, not cooking or being his woman is unacceptable. I may be one of a rare few but I gladly accept and take on the role of the woman that brings home the bread and butters it!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Presence of A Man pt1
Ladies, have you ever just sat back and in your own self reflection took stock of all the wonderful blessings and gifts given to you? I mean, consider all the trials and setbacks you've overcome only to arrive at a calm. I believe that we are preordained to be who we are before we are even conceived and that God always knows exactly what He is doing and is always in control.
I used to worry so much about everyone else and what they had until one day, my father said to me, "Everyone has a cross to bear. Don't worry yourself so much with what everyone else has because you don't know what they are experiencing, sacrificing or dealing with to have the things you want so badly."
He was right, as always. I constantly asked God what was it I was missing or needed to do differently to finally be loved the way I love? I prayed for that man to come into my life and love me unconditionally and eternally and each time I was presented with A man, he never turned out to be, THE man. So finally, I said, "Ok. This is not up to me." And left it at that. It seemed literally the moment I released it, God sent to me the most kind, giving, caring, supportive, loving and strong man he could ever assemble in His time, for me.
In my life, it's not only about the presence of one man. I have three that I thank God for. One gave me life, one guides my life and one walks through life with me. It's something about the pure essence of a man that brings out the best in a woman and all three of them have contributed to bringing out the very best in me.
I used to worry so much about everyone else and what they had until one day, my father said to me, "Everyone has a cross to bear. Don't worry yourself so much with what everyone else has because you don't know what they are experiencing, sacrificing or dealing with to have the things you want so badly."
He was right, as always. I constantly asked God what was it I was missing or needed to do differently to finally be loved the way I love? I prayed for that man to come into my life and love me unconditionally and eternally and each time I was presented with A man, he never turned out to be, THE man. So finally, I said, "Ok. This is not up to me." And left it at that. It seemed literally the moment I released it, God sent to me the most kind, giving, caring, supportive, loving and strong man he could ever assemble in His time, for me.
In my life, it's not only about the presence of one man. I have three that I thank God for. One gave me life, one guides my life and one walks through life with me. It's something about the pure essence of a man that brings out the best in a woman and all three of them have contributed to bringing out the very best in me.
Friday, May 27, 2011
American Ignorance
Firstly, I would like to thank my wonderfully talented and articulate sister, Mrs. Coulibaly for introducing me to this blog site and allowing me to share in her thoughts. This post is dedicated to you...
Let me preface this blog with the following. I am extremely proud to be an American; with all of the struggles and accomplishments of my ancestors. There is no other nationality I would rather be. I transition with a testimony from a revelation I had yesterday evening on my way to class. While on my way to class, in my usual fashion, I was walking blindly toward the building in which my class is held. I noticed as I was walking a car in which contained a classmate of mine.
I always seem to have so much on my mind except what is immediately important-which this evening should have been the class I was headed to. Instead I'm reviewing my finances, thinking of my boyfriend, what I'm cooking for dinner etc. I attribute that to the day to day demands and stresses of a 20 something college educated Black woman.
So, as I am walking toward the building I notice my classmate walking a few paces behind me and she eventually catches up to me and when she does, she immediately says a cheerful, "HI!" to me. To which I turn and look at her almost dagardly. In between my stare and the words I reply is a split second of mediation only to be contemplated in full later, but I'll explain that soon enough.
Attempting to come off as genuine as possible, I say, "hi", back to her and shot my head back in the direction I was going as to not sustain eye contact, and as I was doing so, my eyes caught her smile. She had such warmth and cheer in her face. Physical qualities I don't notice often. I instantly began to replay the difference in her intonation and my retort to her when she spoke to me. I then noticed in my meditation that the difference was my tone and hurried American arrogance. I felt ashamed and embarrassed for having made that impression and now noticing because it was already too late to rectify. What I had done was automatic, second nature, habitual.
More often than not, Americans walk, think and speak with a sense of superiority that many other nationalities shun as it is an individualistic ideal and unwarranted in collectivist societies. The very teaching and perpetuation of this individualistic and self centered ideal is exactly what has lead to the demise of this country and our world. It has become secularized and acceptable to walk right past someone and not say hello or scowl at someone when they smile at you because you are strangers. It is this ideal that has lead our society to slip behind many other nations and fall from the community centered society we once were.
I noticed how ignorant I must have seemed to her and realized that it is not what you say alone but body language, how you say things and how those words are perceived. I challenge America to elevate their awareness and check ourselves. If I am proud to be the American I am, then I must represent the people this country bore to inherit her and avoid adopting the arrogance and ignorance that we are taught will help us achieve the American dream as individuals and replace it with the rich pride for community that attracted so many nations to America.
Let me preface this blog with the following. I am extremely proud to be an American; with all of the struggles and accomplishments of my ancestors. There is no other nationality I would rather be. I transition with a testimony from a revelation I had yesterday evening on my way to class. While on my way to class, in my usual fashion, I was walking blindly toward the building in which my class is held. I noticed as I was walking a car in which contained a classmate of mine.
I always seem to have so much on my mind except what is immediately important-which this evening should have been the class I was headed to. Instead I'm reviewing my finances, thinking of my boyfriend, what I'm cooking for dinner etc. I attribute that to the day to day demands and stresses of a 20 something college educated Black woman.
So, as I am walking toward the building I notice my classmate walking a few paces behind me and she eventually catches up to me and when she does, she immediately says a cheerful, "HI!" to me. To which I turn and look at her almost dagardly. In between my stare and the words I reply is a split second of mediation only to be contemplated in full later, but I'll explain that soon enough.
Attempting to come off as genuine as possible, I say, "hi", back to her and shot my head back in the direction I was going as to not sustain eye contact, and as I was doing so, my eyes caught her smile. She had such warmth and cheer in her face. Physical qualities I don't notice often. I instantly began to replay the difference in her intonation and my retort to her when she spoke to me. I then noticed in my meditation that the difference was my tone and hurried American arrogance. I felt ashamed and embarrassed for having made that impression and now noticing because it was already too late to rectify. What I had done was automatic, second nature, habitual.
More often than not, Americans walk, think and speak with a sense of superiority that many other nationalities shun as it is an individualistic ideal and unwarranted in collectivist societies. The very teaching and perpetuation of this individualistic and self centered ideal is exactly what has lead to the demise of this country and our world. It has become secularized and acceptable to walk right past someone and not say hello or scowl at someone when they smile at you because you are strangers. It is this ideal that has lead our society to slip behind many other nations and fall from the community centered society we once were.
I noticed how ignorant I must have seemed to her and realized that it is not what you say alone but body language, how you say things and how those words are perceived. I challenge America to elevate their awareness and check ourselves. If I am proud to be the American I am, then I must represent the people this country bore to inherit her and avoid adopting the arrogance and ignorance that we are taught will help us achieve the American dream as individuals and replace it with the rich pride for community that attracted so many nations to America.
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